‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town
Not a creature was stirring, because they had all been locked down;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
But St. Nicholas was in quarantine, so he would never be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
But they couldn’t get nightmares of vaccines out of their heads;
And mamma behind her plexiglass, and I in my N95 mask,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a very long bus and eight tiny socialists with lots of campaign gear,
The tired old man in charge wasn’t very quick,
So I knew in a moment that he wasn’t St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Pelosi! now, Schumer! now Kamala the Vixen!
On, Buttigieg! on, Klobuchar! on, Maddow and Wolf Blitzer!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
We aren’t going to stop until we’ve ruined life for them all!”
Up to the house they came as they made quite a racket,
And I could see that the tired old man had “Thank You Dominion Voting Systems” emblazoned on his jacket.
As he reached for the doorbell the tired old man hesitated and then began to sag,
He muttered “we don’t really need these voters now that the election is in the bag”.

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