The Absurd Ways Businesses Are Enforcing Social Distancing

2020 has been a disturbing year all the way around, what with a pandemic, fear of contagions, mandatory lockdowns, and economic devastation. We’ve had everything from a deadly virus to aliens to murder hornets. And just when you thought this year, couldn’t get any stranger, hang on to your halo.

Wait until you see some of the flabbergasting ways businesses are enforcing social distancing measures.

Mannequins, cardboard people, and sex dolls

Places that used to be bustling with human customers and spectators are now being populated with…mannequins, cardboard cut-outs, and sex dolls. It sounds like I’m making this up. I’m not.

For example, Patrick O’Connell, the chef and proprietor of The Inn at Little Washington in Washington, Virginia, has teamed up with a local theater to dress mannequins in WW2 area finery to fill booths and make sure customers “maintain social distancing.”

…while adding an element of fun, the mannequins really hope to provide some of what has been lacking as many Americans seek connection in an isolating pandemic.

“We’re all craving to gather and see other people right now,” O’Connell said. “They don’t all necessarily need to be real people.” (source)

I hate to be mean because I know the intentions are good. But sitting amongst a room full of mannequins sounds more like that episode of Bates Motel when Norman had dinner with the taxidermied corpse of his mother than like a comforting return to normalcy to me.